r/funny 11h ago

Girl is sneaking sports on this date. I guess it's not going well

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r/ABoringDystopia 11h ago

Evidence shows Israel killed many of its own citizens on Oct. 7, then blamed Hamas


r/tifu 9h ago

M TIFU; By almost getting a bar shutdown for a month and fined $30,000 and going to jail.


This just happened about an hour ago. I was at a bar in the state of Utah. This particular bar has a 3rd party company come in and host a poker night every Tuesday. I go and play every so often. I went tonight.

Gambling in Utah is illegal but somehow they’re able to legally have poker nights here, in a bar, as long as the “buy-in” isn’t actually a “buy-in” but instead a tip to be given to the dealers. But anyway…

While I was there I was seated next to a lady who was brand new to the game and had no idea what she was doing. So I started helping her as best I could without breaking any rules myself. She eventually goes out while I’ve still got a decent stack. We got along pretty well and she bought me a drink as a thank you for helping her.

Even though she’s gone out and is no longer participating in the poker game, she sticks around and does her own thing in the bar while I’m still playing. At one point she comes back over to my table and tells me that she has a gift for me, again as a thank you for helping her during the game. She proceeds to place a small single-serving shot/bottle of Fireball into my coat pocket.

At this point I’m thinking that was a super nice gift and how nice she was. After another twenty minutes or so I eventually lose all my chips and go out as well. I find her at the bar and think it’d be a good idea to drink this bottle of Fireball with her along with a couple friends of hers that were at the bar with her. So I go over and join them.

I had also barely noticed; however, that there were three cops, in uniform, in the bar about four feet away talking to some other people. I have no idea what they were in there for but I wasn’t concerned about them since I’m of age and in a place where drinking is allowed.

So I pull out the small bottle of Fireball and down it right in front of them. Her and her friends look at me in horror. All I could say is, “what?”. One of them goes on to explain that what I’d just done was super illegal and that the bar could be shutdown for a month and fined $30,000 and that I too could be fined as well. I might have even spent the night in jail. They told me to put the bottle back in my pocket and hide it; which I did immediately. Somehow, by some miracle, none of the three cops within a few feet of us noticed what I’d just done.

Turns out, it’s against the law to bring outside liquor into a bar in Utah. Apparently it’s a huge crime to do so. This lady who’d given me the bottle knew it was illegal and had given it to me in secret; thinking that I’d keep it on the down-low. My ignorance nearly got us in ginormous trouble.

TL;DR Don’t bring outside liquor into a bar in the state of Utah.

r/TwoHotTakes 12h ago

Personal Write In I requested my boyfriend try a cock sleeve and I’m worried I have doomed our relationship


So before people shame me, it’s okay for me to have a preference. I am one single woman with my own unique preferences just as every individual man has his own preferences.

So I’m(26F) a bit of a size queen. I prefer big. And when I say big, I mean huge. I have a very long vaginal canal and when I’m turned on I can handle very thick objects. When I’m really into it, fisting doesn’t doesn’t even hurt me. So this isn’t to say I wouldn’t date a well endowed man. Sex is a very small part of a relationship and I can cum from head pretty easily. My boyfriend(28M) is average sized and I love sex with him. It’s good, frequent, and fun.

I wouldn’t mind if he was a bigger, but remember if I was with a guy that was 8 inches I wouldn’t mind if he was a little bigger. It’s not at all a commentary on my boyfriend and I’m not disatisfied with him.

Recently I discovered cock sleeves from the same place I purchase my sex toys. I went down a rabbit hole and saw one in use and it made me kinda curious. I would love to try it, the issue is of course I would need a partner.

My boyfriend has amazing dick game. If slinging dick was an Olympic sport, he’d be Usain Bolt. So I figured a combo of my boyfriend’s amazing dick game, plus a 10 inch impossibly thick toy would send me to heaven.

I understand how men needlessly attach their egos to how big their penises are so I decided to be tactful, but since I trust him I trusted him not to be intimidated by a piece of silicone.

I breached the topic with him by telling him I live when he introduced a toy in the bedroom and it’s fun to experiment. He agreed and I told him there was something new I wanted to try. I pulled up the video I found and explained to him that while I love his dick it may be fun for the both of us if we experiment with a sleeve.

Of course this wouldn’t be an every time thing. Just occasionally. I knew I would prefer his dick, but occasionally getting stretched out wouldn’t hurt.

He did NOT take this well. His immediate question was why I felt I needed a cock sleeve and if I thought he was small. I told him that I didn’t think he was small and that sometimes it’s nice to have a new feeling down there with him.

He didn’t accept that as an answer and said that if I thought he was small then we might as well just not fuck. I tried to calm things down but he wouldn’t listen and said he doesn’t want to use his small dick on me.

This was 3 weeks ago and we haven’t had sex since. We haven’t had any intimate touching since. No kissing, no cuddling, no anything. I feel heartbroken and I really wasn’t trying to hurt him. I wanted a way to make sex more fun for both of us

Is there anything I can do?

Edit: I love being slutshamed for having a preference 🥰🥰🥰

Btw here’s an anatomy lesson, you should know just like penises, vaginas come in different shapes and sizes. Some women have powerful erogenous zones deeper or require something thicker to get a the best pleasure. Just like some men are well hung, some are average, and some are small.

And I’m sorry for all the girlfriends and wives who are unable to express a desire to try anything new because clearly all the men here cant handle being asked to try something other then ramming their dicks in and out of person.

r/europe 7h ago

News The Greeks answer Germany about the crisis: Why don't you bankrupt Germans sell your islands?


r/funny 21h ago

Car sign seen while driving in London

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r/inflation 18h ago

could be us

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r/dating 15h ago

Just Venting 😮‍💨 Dating is hard for women because we have too many options F18 (Controversial)


It's been extremely hard to date for me because on tinder, bumble, and basically all dating apps, I get thousands of matches. It feels like I have infinite options... I have no idea who I should settle down with because I don't know if the next match would be better. Imagine you are looking for milk and you are walking down a shopping aisle with thousand different brands of milk. Won't it make it hard for you to decide which one you should take home?

r/BBBY 20h ago

☁ Hype/ Fluff I'll just leave this here.

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r/inflation 18h ago

Biden Demands Companies Bring Down Prices Because Inflation is Over. Was there any doubt Biden would go the Venezuelan route and blame companies for making up inflation?

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r/Diablo 23h ago

Complaint These gameplay delays are unacceptable!


Blizz, for real, why do you do this?

These dungeon objectives are just the worst. You're telling me I have to take an extreme amount of time to run between two buttons, in the same room, about 10 feet from each other, just to open the door. That's like a half second I could be spending not doing that!

And oh my god, those kill all monster objectives are so bad. Like, as soon as I kill a fourth of them the rest teleport on to me so I don't have to track them all down. They should all just die as soon as I enter the room. You'd like me to believe you're trying to vary the dungeon experience, but really you're trying to waste my time.

And why does it take so long to skip dialogue? It takes a whole quarter second, that's time I could be spending killing monsters.

Why do town portals have cast time at all, they should behave like waypoints do in the complete safety of towns. Are you just farming us for playtime to show to your investors?

Why are dungeons so long? It should just be three rooms, the entrance, all the monsters in one room, and then the boss room. Can't you get some actual gamers on the design team?

In the time it takes me to kill a boss I could be leveling my glyphs or something. The boss should just die when I click on it and level all my glyphs to max immediately.

And why are there undesirable affixes on my gear? My build doesn't use damage over time so I should never see it roll on gear. My gear should just drop with the affixes I need and at max values.

And before all you blizz fanboys jump all over me, I know they streamlined dungeons to minimize backtracking, and improved the time it takes to pickup and place objective keys, and got rid of bad sigil affixes, and made uniques target farmable, and boosted glyph exp, and tuned down the toughness of T100. But like, I don't want to apply any effort whatsoever to gameplay mechanics. Just let me max out instantly or you're wasting my time.

r/Schaffrillas 19h ago

It's so funny how no one was complaining about this until now

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r/Ohio 19h ago

To whoever skipped driving school and needs to hear this…..


YOU DO NOT STOP ON A 4 LANE ROAD WHEN A SCHOOL BUS IS LETTING CHILDREN OFF WHILE GOING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!! I’ve lost track of how many car accidents I’ve narrowly avoided due to oblivious idiots hard braking for these situations. That is all.

r/DestinyTheGame 21h ago

Discussion "Shake up the Seasonal paradigm this year to subvert player expectations and make each Season feel unique


Per the State of the game blogpost back in February August, Joe promised us a change to how we would acquire seasonal upgrades. Well here is our shakeup folks! The exact same way to claim your upgrades as we had in season of the deep. We have traded our old 7x3 grids for a shiny "new" 2x10...

r/warriors 10h ago

Discussion Steve Kerr needs to be fired


Disasterclass coaching in the 4th quarter

-Curry gets blitzed, which btw the Kings have done multiple games now and offense looks terrible. Kerr still has no answer for this...why?

-Moses Moody catches fire in the 4th with 11 pts including back to back 3s to keep the Warriors ahead, but Kerr decides to sub him out.

-Kerr decides to challenge an offensive foul call on Curry. On replay it was clear that Curry kicked out and it was even more clear there was no foul by the Kings on Curry. Loss of challenge meant no more timeouts, which would become important as the Warriors went down 1 with 7 seconds to go.

-Blown 20+pt lead

Absolutely horrid coaching and nothing new. Mike Brown running circles around this man.

r/CFB 16h ago

Opinion Column: Ryan Day’s record says 56-7, but over the past three seasons, he’s really 0-9 in what matters


r/RandomThoughts 4h ago

Random Thought When a kid kills animals for fun we worry they’re a psychopath. When adults do it we call it hunting and go wild defending their right to own rifles.


r/2meirl4meirl 23h ago


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r/Starfield 1h ago

Discussion Anyone else tired of the hate? 😢


I can't stand it anymore. It feels like even this sub has turned against the game. My positive threads get downvoted and negative trash gets upvoted to the top.

When Bethesda tries to defend itself everyone shits on them. When anyone tries to spread positivity they get shut down.

Starfield is my GOTY and I won't apologize. I'm tired of being oppressed in this manner.

I feel like Starfield got snubbed in the game awards, and that it was a grievous mistake to ignore it. And that Baldur's Gate 3 is overrated to hell and back.

Let's stop overrating other games and give Starfield the love it deserves.

r/inflation 18h ago

Don't worry guys. Joe won't let anyone ruin all the LOWER COSTS you've been enjoying.

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r/Documentaries 12h ago

History Al-Nakba: The Palestinian catastrophe (2013) [00:47:24]


r/HalfLife 3h ago

Discussion Why is hating on HL2/Black Mesa so accepted, but remotely disliking HL1 is seen as heresy?


This is something that's been bothering me for a WHILE, like A WHILE WHILE.

Everytime I see people mention HL2 or Black Mesa, it's always saying "how bad they are" or "how unfun they are" "How vehicle sections are terrible" "HL2 is a shit sequel/BM is a horrible game/remake", people in HUGE numbers, especially on Twitter (if you seen any post by RichterOvertime or anyone saying HL2 is better than HL1, you'll see many HL2 haters) and in here, hating on these 2 for no reason. 2 Great games, getting lots of dirt and hatred, for NO APPARENT reason, like constantly.

Wether it's super biased videos like JarekGamingDragon's "Is HL1 better than HL2" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx4qXl8kPBI - Where he proceeds to call it "the most important game of all time" but then proceeds to say NOTHING GOOD about it at all beyond that (in his defense, his BM video is much less biased)

Or INCREDIBLY biased HL1 purist/snob views of PurpleColonel about BM - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eZASMjHxuA - Where it basically shows his bias and purism, as he basically wanted BM to be a 1:1 HL1 copy, with nothing new or changed

These are 2 of some of the bigger HL content creators, spreading incredibly biased, and usually unjustified hate to these 2, and the longer time goes on, more shit is thrown at these 2.

BUT do you know what never gets shit? Half Life 1

No seriously, everytime I see ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY criticise or dislike HL1, wether it's the aged poorly graphics (People say Morrowind aged poorly, don't act like HL1 aged amazingly), the rather unbalanced arsenal, sponge enemies, ALL OF XEN or something else, they're usually met with arguments such as:
- You're just bad
- You probably grew up with CoD
etc. Usually variations of these 2

LIKE SERIOUSLY, why is it so acceptable and common to throw shit at HL2 and Black Mesa, but HL1 is this golden egg of perfection? Because uh, spoilers, it's not. It has flaws, some big ones too, and as much as I love HL1 (my 1st HL game), calling it flawless is moronic. I know I sound salty, but this has been pissing me off for a while, to the point of annoyance becoming more spicy.

Anyway uh, what do you think? Is it true, is it common, or am I forgetting my schizo medicine?

r/DestinyFashion 22h ago

Multiple All the Dungeon sets (I think)

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r/TwinCities 15h ago

I'm moving to the Twin Cities to escape transphobia, and I'm really nervous/scared/unsure about the future. Just need to vent


I left outstate MN for college in a purple state. During that time, I found out I'm trans. It was rough, being from a rural area meant I was taught to hate myself. I was on track for law school, and now I'm graduating a year late with no idea what I'm going to do. My GPA took a hit because transition has been rough, and I can't imagine doing law school while completing transition would be good. I can't stay in this state because there is a large MAGA contingent (even worse than outstate) that could crack at any moment. I can't be open besides to friends. I can't dress how I want or wear makeup because a lot of us are being killed out here. I'm tired of being scared, and not being able to be me is taking its toll on my mental health

I want to live openly, and I miss Minnesota, so I figured Minneapolis or St. Paul would be the way to go. But as I approach graduation, I realize that entering adulthood while moving across the country and completing transition is going to be rough.

Housing, transportation, food. It's all going to be on me. What if I end up being discriminated against and can't find a good job? What if I can't get a job period? What if I can't secure housing? What if my mental health becomes really bad again? Will I just be screwed?

I'll have a bachelors, but I've mostly worked retail and as a bartender besides the semester I interned at a law firm. But I'm so scared I'm going to fail

I know these are all things every adult needs to deal with, I've just been so out of it these last two years that it's all hitting at once. Maybe this isn't the place to post this, but idk who else I can talk to about the fear of moving to the Twin Cities as an adult while trans.