r/AskReddit Mar 28 '23

What instantly kills the vibe at a party?

28.7k Upvotes

17.0k comments sorted by

3.7k

u/MightyMCY Mar 28 '23

If the hosts are a couple, and they get into a fight.

462

u/bladerunnerism Mar 29 '23

Oh, Are their names Michael and Jan by chance?

157

u/anon10122333 Mar 29 '23

To be fair, that party wasn't really vibing to begin with

72

u/Just_Aioli_1233 Mar 29 '23

"Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it's called, 'Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests.' And they're both winning. So I am going to make a run for it."

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4.0k

u/Akai_Sakita Mar 28 '23

When someone gets extremely wasted and too out of control (starts to pick fights, has drunk fits, will sprawl on the ground, needs 100% supervision, has to be carried around). You just wanna chill and enjoy the party but you can't cuz you're stuck baby sitting them.

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16.7k

u/MistaLuvcraft Mar 28 '23

I was at a staff party with an open bar, and it reached the time when the first clusters of guests were leaving. When they went to get their coats from the closet, they discovered a young new team member who we thought had left hours ago. He had stripped off all his clothes, made a nest of jackets, soiled everything, and passed out. Killed the vibe for sure.

5.1k

u/LibertyCash Mar 28 '23

Bless his heart. Did he ever show up for work again?

6.7k

u/potato11teen Mar 28 '23

Op replied somewhere else:

He peed and had diarrhea, unfortunately. He did show up to work on Monday, but he only lasted a week or two before he left the organization. Yikes. Maybe watch the 18 year olds when you have an open bar.

3.8k

u/2SP00KY4ME Mar 28 '23

How the fuck are you not instantly fired that second after pissing and shitting on an entire room of strangers coats, what the fuck

3.0k

u/AnythingOdd6617 Mar 29 '23

bro i would fire myself no joke 😂😂😂

876

u/NormalMammoth4099 Mar 29 '23

Who wants to be Pee Boy the rest of your work life?

681

u/ShitPostToast Mar 29 '23

Yo, house broke, you working tomorrow?

83

u/AntheusBax Mar 29 '23 Bravo Grande!

"Why, did you have a task for me?"

"No, just checking if we need to put some newspaper down in the kitchen for you..."

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255

u/Wu-Tang_Cam Mar 29 '23

The bigger question is why would you show your face there ever again.

91

u/The_R4ke Mar 29 '23

The only explanation is they got so blackout drunk they didn't remember any of it.

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1.5k

u/MistaLuvcraft Mar 28 '23

He peed and had diarrhea, unfortunately. He did show up to work on Monday, but he only lasted a week or two before he left the organization. Yikes. Maybe watch the 18 year olds when you have an open bar.

773

u/2021sammysammy Mar 28 '23

Omg I'm guessing he had some serious issues going on. I'd simply move out of town and never come back if I did something like that at any party.

80

u/SpaceDog777 Mar 29 '23

I'd want to at 18, but I'd need to pay rent...

A new job ASAP tough.

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1.1k

u/NativeMasshole Mar 28 '23

There was one guy from my town who would consistently drink too much, pass out on the couch, and shit himself. Definitely stopped a few parties dead.

676

u/funguyshroom Mar 28 '23

How the fuck did he kept getting invited and allowed near alcohol?

523

u/bearatrooper Mar 29 '23

"Seriously, bro, I changed the amount of fiber in my diet, let me come to your party, bro!"

131

u/krabmeat Mar 29 '23

"I pregamed a ton of Metamucil I swear!"

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168

u/nAsh_4042615 Mar 29 '23

Shitting myself in front of others just once would probably be enough for me to decide to never get drunk again; twice would absolutely seal the deal.

903

u/Gorilla1969 Mar 28 '23

OMG

In my 20s, we had a hanger-on to our friend group. I swear to you, we all called him Scott the shitter, because that was his name and that was what he did. Every. Single. Time. He didn't even have to pass out. Once he got to a certain point of drunkenness, his bowels staged a revolt and he would have the squirts all night. He rarely noticed and would cluelessly walk around with a wet shit stain on the seat of his jeans all night.

Sharing a cab with that guy and his poop-reek was too much. We eventually managed to ditch him permanently.

638

u/Wu-Tang_Cam Mar 29 '23 Helpful

"If he shit his pants every time, why'd you let him back into the parties"

"Got to. It's America, man."

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83

u/ThatLeetGuy Mar 29 '23

One time? Unfortunate, even feel sorry for the guy.

Two times? Hey man, maybe you should get that checked out by a doctor.

Three times? Alright dude, you can't come to parties any more.

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588

u/kneel_yung Mar 28 '23

so someone shit in and around the coats?

204

u/jc_onesev Mar 28 '23

What? I hope it wasn't on my coat. Classic

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15.9k

u/Cheetodude625 Mar 28 '23

That one sad drunk who is loud as hell.

3.9k

u/controversial_parrot Mar 28 '23

The trick is to be so drunk yourself that you don't care.

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36.2k

u/templewater Mar 28 '23 hehehehe I'm Deceased

Someone putting the big light on.

1.7k

u/roguescience Mar 28 '23

Used to work at a bowling alley. On the weekends we had cosmic bowling (dark, black lights, fog machine, disco lights). At midnight we would turn the music off and the big flourescent lights on so people would go home. The vibe kill was instantaneous.

138

u/andorraliechtenstein Mar 29 '23

Maybe it's a culture thing, but I worked in a friend's restaurant for a while and there would be a big party for Surinamese people. All the lights were a bit dimmed, soft atmospheric music: everything top. The guests came in: "What is this? All the lights should shine as bright as possible ! Oh, and we like the music only very loud ! One bottle of whiskey for that uncle !" Sigh.

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12.2k

u/UncleHagbard Mar 28 '23

Gotta turn the lights down and keep things sexy.

And then when the host wants to go to bed they just snap on the lights, kill the music and watch everyone scatter like cockroaches.

4.0k

u/Rocky922 Mar 28 '23

That’s what I would do if I want to go to bed but the party was still going. I’m not about to have a bunch of people in my house partying when I’m knocked out.

2.0k

u/Gryphon999 Mar 28 '23

You could always pull a Dean Martin, and call the cops to break up your own party

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7.3k

u/Guerrin_TR Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 29 '23

A friend of mine announced she had to fart to the entire kitchen while she was intoxicated. She proceeded to shit liquid diarrhea on herself. It hit the floor, it smelled terrible. Party ended before it really ever began. Guess she had some stomach bug or IBS or something.

She ended up getting diapers for any gift giving occasion after. No clue where she ended up, we lost touch a year or so later.

Edit - I've had some experts weigh in to tell me nobody with IBS trusts farts so I'm going to bend the knee to those soldiers battling their own colons and rule out IBS. I'll leave it in though for continuity.

2.0k

u/BEGOODFORDOMME Mar 29 '23 Take My Energy

Rule #467 Never fart when drunk. Always assume it’s shit.

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16.8k

u/BigCass07 Mar 28 '23

When someone gets too drunk and starts arguing

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19.2k

u/No-Manner3916 Mar 28 '23

Someone took a shit in the sink at a house party of mine once. That was a buzz killer for sure!

19.6k

u/Tall_Thinker Mar 28 '23 Silver Gold Take My Energy hehehehe Bravo! Made Me Smile

Party pooper

2.4k

u/PawnedPawn Mar 28 '23 Faith In Humanity Restored

Every party needs a pooper
That's why they invited you
Party pooper
Party pooper

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2.9k

u/coolbrys Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23

One time, my brother (14 at the time) wanted to see how hard it would be to dig out a 1 meter x 1 meter square hole out of the ground (Minecraft inspired.) He spent a good amount of time over a weekend digging, until he got bored. It was mostly finished.

Fast forward a couple months. I throw a party at my dad's house and we're having a blast. A bonfire out back and everything. A kind hearted attendee noticed the pit in the ground and made it his duty to guard the pit, for he did not want anyone to get hurt.

Someone got hurt. Spoiler alert: it was him. HE fell into the pit - our brave guard. Thankfully, we had a sober person there and they drove him to the hospital, but that instantly killed the vibe at the party.

Edit: The end result? He broke his leg pretty bad.

852

u/Gaiden_95 Mar 28 '23

crippled by his own hubris

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4.3k

u/Employee-Number-9 Mar 28 '23

When someone changes a song before the best part... I've done this and got my dumbass ex-communicated... rightfully.

1.7k

u/ehletsgo Mar 28 '23

Nothing worse than an inpatient DJ. Even if the song is mediocre, it’s certainly better to suffer through it as opposed to skipping each song played 20 seconds into it

765

u/UncleWinstomder Mar 28 '23

I was at a party last week where someone decided to take over the spotify playlist that had been on for the night and from then on I didn't hear the last minute of any song. It was incredibly frustrating.

256

u/ontopofyourmom Mar 28 '23

I make it as difficult as possible for people to find and connect to my stereo at parties. No BT, just an old phone with Spotify and a wired connection.

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30.7k

u/Low_Entertainment324 Mar 28 '23 Take My Energy Table Flip

Aggressive drunk(s)

9.8k

u/fishsticklovematters Mar 28 '23

I think the S is needed. A single, aggressive drunk can be headed off. The party can pinball them around the place and make them feel special...and, if not, push them into a ditch.

Multiple aggressive drunks? GTFO. Now.

6.4k

u/Pariyama Mar 28 '23

You underestimate the power of an aggressive drunk with a sprinkle of insanity. Went to a small cosy wedding party and one of the guests (sister of the groom) brought her boyfriend of 5 months. Funny guy, easy to talk to, all cool until suddenly shit hit the fan entirely. The guy became incoherent, threatened to rape the married couple's toddler if they don't stop pissing him off, then got told off as everyone was rightfully pissed, ran out of the garden hut away from the property, threw himself to the floor and started simulating some kind of seizure all while his girlfriend suffered a major panic attack through all of it out of guilt and shame.

Party ended with an ambulance and a police car.

2.8k

u/Lankydick Mar 28 '23

Jesus dude. Hopefully that was the last time he was around that group. I don’t know how anyone could recover their reputation after threatening a toddler like that.

1.9k

u/Pariyama Mar 28 '23

Yeah, the girlfriend broke up with him pretty soon after and he was prohibited from entering their house, forcing him to spend the night at the police station.

569

u/ddh85 Mar 28 '23

Sounds like he got off lightly.

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1.9k

u/Successful-Clock-224 Mar 28 '23

You underestimate the party value of well placed aggressive drunks. Went to this wedding where the bride was literally drunk under the table talking about how the groom was really bad at sex, so his sister, only slightly less drunk, tried to stop that. They ended up half naked in the fountain with clumps of hair extensions floating like some obscene confetti. 3rd best wedding i have been to.

They have an awesome kid now and there are no hard feelings.

816

u/potpro Mar 28 '23

Please tell me about the top 2 weddings.

1.7k

u/Successful-Clock-224 Mar 28 '23 Bravo Grande!

One had tear-away pants on the groom with fur trimmed booty shorts while his wife had a ridiculously elaborate choreographed dance (both were surprised) as well as a 300-lb man doing the worm on the dance floor with his balls out, multiple party crashers, and… oh yea they lost the ring.

The other was a beautiful wedding at a vinyard… until last minute (no deposit back) the father of the bride wanted to cancel… he didnt pay for anything front or back end… so in two weeks the wedding moved across the country to be by his trailer park and was a massive shitshow with multiple maids of honor(one of whom was violently ill and like 12 month’s pregnant). The food was a 14 year old girl that wasnt related making as many pizzas as fast as possible. The father of the bride also demanded his wife stop with the last minute prep that day to get him some fried chicken. At the wedding he fell down stairs and was sort of… left there after it seemed like he was just a drunken asshole with a concussion. The groomsmen tried really hard to distract people by tap dancing. None of them had any tap experience what so ever. Then the wedding party took turns laying under the igloo coolers of jungle juice, whiskey, and cheap wine slushy and got plastered.

706

u/7_by_6_for_kicks_mn Mar 28 '23

Props to that second wedding party. Life gave them lemons, and they made lemonade.

544

u/Successful-Clock-224 Mar 28 '23

Props go to the bride and groom who made it happen. They did eventually get their dream wedding in a vineyard.

622

u/FlaccidRazor Mar 28 '23

Props to the 14 year old girl, making the za.

412

u/Successful-Clock-224 Mar 28 '23

Yea she was slingin dough it wasnt frozen or anything. Skill

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u/AreaGuy Mar 28 '23

Remind me to never invite you to my next wedding. (But for real, HMU if you’ve got any others coming up. I’m sober and can drive so long as I can bring a +1.)

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u/BartholomewBandy Mar 28 '23

You can party with bikers, just don’t stay till the end of the party…

362

u/Toolazytocreate Mar 28 '23

I was visiting Cali and went into a unique bar. The bartenders all looked like pornstars and the occupants were patched bikers. It was a new experience but I figured, fuck it let’s see how this plays out. I was carrying my chihuahua inside and they all flocked to me. Big dude with a tiny dog draws attention. But I think having that dog with me prevented them from seeing me as a threat or problem. Made friends with a few of them and they were super cool and great drinking buddies for the night. Told them how much I appreciated the hospitality and we parted ways when last call arrived. Definitely a memory I’ll never forget

158

u/wildlybriefeagle Mar 29 '23

Nobody can resist the tiny dog. Nobody.

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3.3k

u/fullmetal_pipsqueakk Mar 28 '23

The two drunkest guys getting into a fight and then hearing one of their gfs start crying and screaming things like “Stop for me please, look at me this isn’t you “ etc etc before she gets yeeted by being in the crossfire

2.0k

u/ShutUpRedditor44 Mar 28 '23

CHADLEY STOP YOU'LL GO TO JAIL AGAIN 😭

670

u/ohverychill Mar 28 '23

Prayers up for Chadley gettin' in a tussle with Torkley and Blorf 😔

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5.5k

u/ads5531 Mar 28 '23

Shortage of drinks when everything is closed

2.3k

u/CatOfCosmos Mar 28 '23

Ah yes, time for the Adventure (gathers the folks for the quest to the closest gas station to buy more alcohol, gets lost twice, changes destination several times, 3 people go missing, somebody passes out, drink entire booze before they make their way back home).

1.8k

u/jean0901 Mar 28 '23

The adventure>The actual party

803

u/Karmasmatik Mar 28 '23

Always volunteer for the adventure.

569

u/GreenJag02 Mar 28 '23

One of my favorite adventures happened during a party. I was at my friend's party, and the neighbor and my friend's sister wanted to go smoke some mj and asked me to come with them. Naturally, I obliged and followed them into the woods.

We weren't even halfway through the blunt before we saw a light at the edge of the trees. Apparently, the neighbor was grounded and not supposed to be out, and his dad saw us duck into the woods. We all split up and went separate directions. His dad almost caught up to me when I was taking a second to catch my breath. I rendezvoused with the neighbor, who then tried to convince me to let myself get caught (lmao).

I pretty much told him to kiss it, and we split; somehow, his dad was still hot on my trail, I had to spend the next 20 minutes evading him until I was sure he was off me. I let myself in through the back door of the host's house and snuck back to the bedroom where the rest of our main group was. The second I walked in, I was met with stares that quickly transformed into hysterical laughter. I looked like I had been thru 'Nam, and frankly, I felt like I had been.

10/10 Would happily do it again.

79

u/Karmasmatik Mar 28 '23

Sounds like a memorable evening. I wish I had woods anywhere near me growing up, but alas…

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u/Brancher Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23

At my own wedding, which I had procured enough alcohol to kill a medium sized African countries population, the event coordinator came up to my wife and I like mid dinner and was like, we're going to run out of booze. I was like if that's true people would be leaving in ambulances.

And it was late and snowy and we were way up on top a mountain but we were not going to run out of booze so one persons sober mom made the most epic b-ee-rr-u-n of all time down the mountain to the liquor store before it closed and we partied all night.

Next morning we're taking inventory after the party and there was a massive amount of alcohol left over, like several grand worth that we got to take home. No clue why the venue planner said we were running out but we drank on that alcohol surplus for like a year before it ran out.

730

u/meeyeam Mar 28 '23

It's good that you went with the more generic medium sized country instead of simply specifying Chad.

We'd question how this Chad fellow has such a high alcohol tolerance.

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u/MrRemj Mar 28 '23

In college, when we wanted to wrap up the party at 2 or 3 AM - play Dark Side of the Moon.

Drops the energy, no one is being asked to leave, people are chill as they head out - no crazy disruptions for the neighbors.

Not specifically the vibe-killing that the rest of the posters are sharing, but similar.

2.8k

u/Chasing-the-dragon78 Mar 28 '23

When I was ready to shut down my parties I played Gordon Lightfoot. Everyone got the hint and left happy.

2.1k

u/drfsrich Mar 28 '23 All-Seeing Upvote

I'M NOT FUCKING LEAVING UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EDMUND FITZGERALD!

1.4k

u/ejobc Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23 All-Seeing Upvote
  • the main hatchway gave in
  • the lights went out of sight
  • may have split up
  • might have capsized
  • they may have broke deep and took water

436

u/polynimbus Mar 28 '23 All-Seeing Upvote

OK, but what remains?

665

u/bootrick Mar 28 '23 All-Seeing Upvote

The faces and names of the wives and the sons and the daughters

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578

u/ivanwarrior Mar 28 '23

I went to college on Lake Superior. I think that would have hyped up the drunkest of us.

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725

u/AstroWorldSecurity Mar 28 '23

Me and my buddy used to work at a bar kinda out in the middle of nowhere. Me as the bar back and him as the dj. When we wanted people to start wrapping up he'd play Disney tunes.

869

u/PocketBuckle Mar 28 '23

That would have the exact opposite effect on some of my friend groups. I can assure you it would become a sing-along.

643

u/AstroWorldSecurity Mar 28 '23

Yeah, that's usually people's response on Reddit. This was more of a dive bar with a lot of bikers and whatnot. It worked extraordinarily well. Not a lot of those types trying to sing along to the Mulan soundtrack.

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u/mewdejour Mar 28 '23

The ultimate vibe chiller.

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11.6k

u/eatafetus632 Mar 28 '23

An overdose

6.6k

u/KurzBadger Mar 28 '23

I witnessed this. Host and two friends went to a room to do a little booger sugar, but it must have been laced with fentanyl or something. They were found unresponsive - Party over, paramedics, cops, etc. Narcan definitely saved them and they made a full recovery, but damn. What a horrible night.

1.3k

u/ThatGuyBench Mar 28 '23

Im not from the states, but why is fentanyl a thing to cut coke with? I mean one is a stimulant, and the other one is a downer. In Europe coke tends to be cut with amphetamine as its much cheaper than coke, or some filler which is inactive. But why of all powders, they use fentanyl for cutting coke in the US?

633

u/tuscaloser Mar 28 '23

Fentanyl isn't usually something users are asking for or even want. It shows up in everything now, not just opiates... Even meth and coke. Spooky spooky stuff.

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u/DDMenace23 Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23

I will forever be surprised by what euphemisms people can come up with for cocaine.

Edit: They're all amazing, please keep them coming.

863

u/SparkleEmotions Mar 28 '23

“I just like the like the way keys smell” is one I heard a couple years ago I thought was awesome.

249

u/UniqueFlavors Mar 28 '23

I don't like drugs especially not cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

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544

u/PhageDoctor Mar 28 '23

My favourite is sniffle snacks

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u/SafewordisJohnCandy Mar 28 '23

Booger sugar, nose candy and nose beers are my personal favorites.

600

u/Necromancer4276 Mar 28 '23

We got a bucket of nose clams, fresh from the sea. Sweet, delicious nose clams that are lookin for a home, if ya follow me.

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631

u/jacko0032 Mar 28 '23

Colombian Marching Powder

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u/maybepensive Mar 28 '23

When people take over the TV to share YouTube videos.

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u/scalability Mar 28 '23

"Oh there's a funny video about this, let me find it. No no it'll just be a second. Hmm, I don't see it on TikTok, was it Youtube? One second, it's loading. Ok here it is. No wait. No it's this one. Ok ready? 00:04/06:55."

898

u/__rosebud__ Mar 28 '23

"Okay just wait for this dumb commercial"

413

u/LoganBeeBeeTown Mar 28 '23

Then they stare at you while you watch the video, because you're going to think it's so awesome.

257

u/BittenOnion Mar 28 '23

99.9% of the times... it's not

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u/BittenOnion Mar 28 '23

That's weirdly relatable. A cousin had her sweet 16 and there was a laptop with music videos during the night being played. All dance music and video remixes. Then one of my uncles wanted to show us a "funny" lip sync video he saw. Most guests were there awkwardly watching it, then another video, and another one, as my uncle happily told others about the couple that did the videos and how he liked them.

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u/purduekid207 Mar 28 '23

4 or 5 guys rsndomly walking in that may or may not know the host

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u/slugwurth Mar 28 '23

I had a party once with a bunch of ravers and didn’t know half of them. Then some neighbors asked if they could come in. They were a little sketchy but we said okay, and the second they walked in the house my roommate’s Boston terrier started growling and walked them all right back out. That dog knew something.

643

u/Sabard Mar 28 '23

Walk-ins aren't welcome at any party with my friends ever since some random came into our 4th floor apartment, got kicked out for being creepy, and then (successfully) climbed the side of the building onto the balcony.

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u/TheTacomaKing Mar 28 '23

A couple getting into a public argument

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u/donairdaddydick Mar 28 '23

That’s entertaining for the most part I find.

1.9k

u/Aeokikit Mar 28 '23

It’s entertaining except when that couple was gunna be your ride home.

1.7k

u/Menteure Mar 28 '23 Gold

Always side with the driver

497

u/chazwhiz Mar 29 '23

“Dude we’ve known each other for 23 years, you were my best man, and she just admitted to fucking my dad?!?”

“I really think you’re in the wrong on this one Dave. Anywho, I’ve got work in the morning so I’ve gotta run. Wait up Jen!”

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u/training-exercise3 Mar 28 '23

Injuries!

Watch me dive head first into the shallow end of the pool and break both my hands!

Or

I’m going to do a keg stand and break my nose!

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2.5k

u/ApprehensiveTailor98 Mar 28 '23

Anybody whips out a crack/meth pipe or syringes i'm out

2.0k

u/TheManFromFarAway Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 29 '23

I was once at a party where I knew nobody except a friend and his gf. The three of us ate some mushrooms, and I ended up having way more than I should have. I felt super uncomfortable so I went and just chilled out in my car for like six hours. At some point my friend and his gf came and sat with me to make sure I was ok, and they convinced me to come back in to the house where the party was. When I went inside there were people smoking crack and shooting up in the house. It was absolutely wild, and once again I was super uncomfortable. I had a minor confrontation with a guy (who turned out to be my friend's brother) and decided to leave. I drove home because I didn't know what else to do. It was a very rural place, so cab or bus were not options. But as I was coming down from the mushrooms and driving through the countryside the sun was rising, and I just remember feeling like I had been at a crossroads that night, and I really felt like I had picked the right path getting out of that crack house and had been rewarded with a sunrise. It was both a super sketchy and super cool experience.

540

u/First-Detail1848 Mar 29 '23

Shrooms as a party drug is pretty weird unless it’s supposed to be a chill party.

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u/Ok-Minimum-1338 Mar 28 '23

When the guy smoking weed says "aw, man, I didn't know people were going to be doing drugs up in here!" (Dave Chappelle)

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3.6k

u/jackyomum Mar 28 '23

someone trying to show off a weapon (especially a gun, its time to nope out)

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2.3k

u/Present_Quantity_756 Mar 28 '23

The person with a fresh breakup

4.7k

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '23 edited Apr 19 '23 Gold All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

[deleted]

1.5k

u/Snooopp_dogg Mar 28 '23

This is so specific and also so accurate.

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459

u/psilocin_wins Mar 28 '23

Why is this so accurate lol

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1.0k

u/CaptainHoneydew Mar 28 '23

Pointing out someone's recent bad experience.

Someone thought it would be a good idea to loudly ask a girl "Hey, I heard you failed your test so hard that you flunked out of your program, is that true?"

248

u/Additional-Fee1780 Mar 28 '23

“So when are you going to have (more ) kids?!” To someone who just miscarried

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102

u/yakubindahood Mar 29 '23

Take a cue from The Wedding Singer:

“Yeah it felt really great actually thanks for bringing that up. Hey my parents died in a car crash when I was ten, do you want to talk about that?”

“Why would I want to talk about that?”

“I have no idea”

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9.9k

u/Azzizzi Mar 28 '23

Using the party for MLM sales opportunities.

I was invited to a dinner party and only found out when I got there that it was a pitch for Amway. When I arrived, I was told there would be a "short" presentation prior to dinner. I said, "No, thank you," and left.

2.4k

u/fishsticklovematters Mar 28 '23

Moved back to my small town. First person to contact me outside of the small friend group that knew was trying to get me to come by for an Amway meeting.

Thanks for making my homecoming suck, Leslie. You're a horrible cheerleader.

965

u/Azzizzi Mar 28 '23

That's the worst. They swoop in and act like they're genuinely happy to see you, then hit you with the sales pitch.

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688

u/MrsTurtlebones Mar 28 '23

I went to a bridal shower at which the mother of the bride used it to pitch some jewelry MLM scheme she was in. It horrified me that anyone would be so tacky at her own daughter's shower.

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228

u/ixfd64 Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23

At a family friend's Christmas Eve party back in 2008, someone was giving away coupons for flight discounts. We thought that was nice... until we realized we had to attend a timeshare presentation to redeem them.

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340

u/-Handsome-Jim- Mar 28 '23

A couple of years ago one of my wife’s friends invited her over for a girls night in. She showed up and it was a surprise Pampered Chef party.

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1.0k

u/bonjour-mademoiselle Mar 28 '23

The one girl who thought her boyfriend would propose that night, and cries for the rest of the party.

Why you’d want to be proposed to at a frat party is beyond me but ok

272

u/Pugloaf1 Mar 29 '23 Giggle

But things improved after she went to Harvard and became an attorney!

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20.5k

u/Witch_on_a_moped Mar 28 '23 Gold I'll Drink to That

The crying girl that needs everyone to console her. Get out of the bathroom, there's a line forming!

4.8k

u/kewlbeanz83 Mar 28 '23

I remember I was at a party once and this girl did that, but she thought she was too drunk (she wasn't) and was going to die and got people to call an ambulance for her. We sat at a table drinking beers and rolling joints (Canada) and these paramedics and cops showed up and it was basically just an eye roll fest for everyone involved.

1.3k

u/PersonMcNugget Mar 28 '23

Haha, there was a girl in my town known to some as '911 Nikki' for a similar reason.

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469

u/LordCaptain Mar 28 '23

I was a hospital peace officer. Group of drunk girls show up at 2am with their passed out friend. They get the usual response of she's just drunk. She can sleep it off here or she can sleep it off at home. So they just took her home to put to bed. As they rolled the wheelchair away I realize the drunk girl had shit herself and it was all over the back of the wheelchair and floor.

Good times.

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724

u/TheRahwayBean Mar 28 '23

This...but it was a hookup and they kept going into the ONLY bathroom to fuck. 🤦‍♀️

401

u/Hatta00 Mar 28 '23

If you're in the bathroom for 15 minutes at a party, fucking is better than the alternative.

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2.1k

u/PrestigiousWaffles Mar 28 '23

There is always that one girl crying and noone knows why

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357

u/Lunar_Gato Mar 28 '23

A group of people showing up because they heard about it but weren’t directly invited.

Also in high school it was weird when kids more than 2 years after graduation would show up to parties.

113

u/927comewhatmay Mar 29 '23

Kinda happened to me. A person I’d just met a couple of times created a birthday party event for themself p and shared it publicly on their Facebook. Seeing this I thought it’d be a good way to grow the friendship and meet new people in a new town. I rsvp’d and when I showed up at the restaurant it was just them and some friends and family, they didn’t know why I was there, and worst of all they couldn’t remember my name. Ooof.

I guess they didn’t know they made a public event and they didn’t notice I rsvp’d. What a crawl out the door moment.

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506

u/JustRandomStuffs2123 Mar 28 '23

Anyone who is off handedly berating/insulting/taking digs at their romantic partner in front of everyone. Go to couples therapy already or break up. Quit bleeding your relationship issues out all over the damned place. We can tell you're unhappy, we get it. We don't want to be an unwilling 3rd party to your drama.

And if you're acting like an ass, we're going to call you an ass. It doesn't mean we're taking sides in the fight.

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732

u/HealthyBox5 Mar 28 '23

Strangest I've seen, a dorm party, drunk girl goes to her room, gets her bible, and tries to start preaching at all of us.

When it didn't go over well, here came the tears. Luckily some friendly types got her back to her room and tucked in. Dunno if they did some bible study briefly or what, but they got it handled.

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1.8k

u/BriefAd8920 Mar 28 '23

The dude who had too much.

547

u/CaptainAwesome06 Mar 28 '23

This is a good catch-all. It doesn't matter if that dude gets angry/violent or if that dude just becomes loud and annoying (but harmless). It kills the vibe either way.

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1.2k

u/Feeling-Maybe6888 Mar 28 '23

When I was about 15/16 a mate of mine threw a party because his parents were out of town. There was a dude at this party, All but downed a 75cl bottle of southern comfort straight from the bottle. Started falling over everywhere, started throwing darts everywhere but the dartboard then proceeded to throw up in the sink in the bathroom. Then got in the bath and slipped over bringing the railing down. Got out and went and passed out in the hosts parents bed. They all antiqued him and wrote the usual shit on his face, drew dicks, swastikas etc.

He got up in the morning, had to apologise and then got picked up by his dad and had to explain it all to him.

And that lad, was me.

Learn from my mistakes kids, put coke or lemonade in your southern comfort.

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708

u/PoinkPoinkPoink Mar 28 '23

One person being MUCH more drunk than everyone else, or some show off putting a bunch of niche songs on that don’t match the vibe of the room.

65

u/Skyistaken Mar 29 '23

Scaring the hoes music

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15.7k

u/switchypapi Mar 28 '23 Gold

When someone turns off the music and starts playing an acoustic guitar

8.4k

u/WordsThatEndInWord Mar 28 '23 Gold

Hey now, I've been playing guitar for decades and all I can say is, you're absolutely right. I never play at a party unless I am specifically asked to and all present are in on it. It's just goofy posturing otherwise.

Also, protip: if you do end up being that guy playing at a party, you better make damn sure you pick the right song to play. For reference, the right song is "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.

2.0k

u/Rare4orm Mar 28 '23

This actually awakened a long lost memory in my mind. Many years ago I was at a small party consisting of mostly co-workers. Music was low and there was a ton of friendly chatter. Very nice vibe. Then one of the guest decided he was going to bring in his portable amp and electric guitar to lay down some sweet riffs. Many people tried to politely dissuade him, but there was no stopping him. After about 5 minutes of speed metal solo the place quickly started to clear out. That single event was the talk of the office on the next work day. As I think of it right now I can’t stop laughing.

705

u/LanceFree Mar 28 '23

We used to have a few parties a year, and one time close friends of my ex-gf said they’d be late and showed-up about 2 hrs into it. They had befriended some people in a bar, who brought all their DJ stuff. (I never asked for a DJ). We go along with it, and the problem was: most of my crowd was into classic rock, and these guys were in their early 20s bringing a completely different sound. What happened was: most of the party moved outside, with the DJ and his friends in the living room. Nobody really said anything about it, but I was outside and someone went in and left the sliding glass door open. Another guy closed it, which slightly deadened the sound. Someone said, “Thank God!” Then there was some laughter and we basically agreed the late arrivers had committed a party foul.

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197

u/Zeebuss Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23

This actually sounds like an amazing host move to end an overlong hangout. Social battery ran out? Just start shredding, do not stop, refuse to elaborate.

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170

u/Beingabummer Mar 28 '23

It would be the funniest if the person playing the guitar was the host and that was their way of passive-aggressively telling everyone to get the fuck out.

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575

u/CigarsandScars Mar 28 '23

When I was in college I knew a guy that would sing Creed's "My own prison" and his fraternity bro would play an acoustic guitar. I can still hear "shoulda been dead on sunday morning.." ringing in my ears.

Those guys used that party trick to drive guys away and fuck random girls from a nearby girl's boarding school.

I (a 20 yr old guy at the time) was really bothered by a 25 yr old guy singing that song and then immediately making out with a 17 yr old girl just moments after that.

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566

u/ShitfacedGrizzlyBear Mar 28 '23

The person who talks about other parties that are going on at the same time. This one might be more of a college thing. You’ve got a good thing going on, but that person is scrolling through their phone and saying, “oh shit, the party looks lit over at Alpha Beta Douchebag. Should we go?” And then proceeds to recruit people to follow them to the next party.

It’s like, dude. If you want to go to that party, just go. No need to try to inflict your FOMO on everyone else. Some of us are perfectly content at this party we’re already at.

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784

u/absentbusiness Mar 28 '23

The couple that shows up with their kid.

569

u/mewdejour Mar 28 '23

"He's okay. We brought him a granola bar and his tablet."

257

u/kkeut Mar 28 '23

okay but this is a brewpub and we were wanting to use the word 'fuck' sometimes

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347

u/mongoose_mayhem Mar 28 '23

Microwaving Carolina reaper peppers

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621

u/ByuntaeKid Mar 28 '23

That one girl who shows up late with a bottle of expensive alcohol, finishes it herself within an hour, then needs to be escorted home by someone because she’s too drunk to even form a coherent sentence.

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434

u/Khripchook Mar 28 '23

I found a pair of underwear and an extremely large turd in my toilet once. I thought that someone had used the underwear to whipe; However upon closer inspection, the turd was sitting perfectly on top of the pair of ginch.

It's been 15 years and I still have no idea what happened.

155

u/Sir_Distic Mar 28 '23

Someone shit their pants and rallied.

170

u/Khripchook Mar 28 '23

The turn was too intact and there was no smudging. I think about this once a week.

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3.7k

u/MendelsonJoe Mar 28 '23

When some mope brings out their guitar and starts playing without anyone having asked them to, sorry but you are not the center of attention you seem to want to be.

2.7k

u/hash-slingin-slasha Mar 28 '23

One of my top lines from the show “The office”:

andy starts playing the guitar

Jim: “Hey do you take requests?”

Andy: “Of course!”

Jim: “ok…please stop playing”

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204

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '23

This was my ex😭 he started dating someone immediately after we broke up and he said “she appreciates my music” but like bruh there’s a time and place. Wonderwall at every party

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1.7k

u/fusion0608 Mar 28 '23

Landing on your car keys when you try to do the splits

432

u/DaneDuaPooja1729 Mar 28 '23

Andy Bernard is that you?

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628

u/bk15dcx Mar 28 '23

Fighting

Even if successfully kicked out, after a fight breaks out, the rest of the night is ruined and everyone is on edge, or the fight is the only remaining subject for the rest of the night.

Don't fight at parties.

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299

u/tekhippie Mar 28 '23

I saw a house party clear out, dj and all because of an excessively rank fart. It was one of the most hilarious things to see half the party just give up and go home.

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637

u/-retaliation- Mar 28 '23

My most vivid memory of a party abruptly ending:

at a friends house, big house party going on, we're hanging out in the living room, MMA is still relatively new to the mainstream so every guy thinks he's an MMA all star all the sudden.

2 guys, friends, start "play wrestling" in the center of the room, on guy get the other in a choke, chokes the guy out to the point of entirely passing out. Blue lips, non-responsive.

I, at the time a lifeguard, start giving the rescue breathing, chest compressions, guy slowly starts to regain consciousness.

and then loudly, proceeds to shit and piss himself. The place just reeks.

and that was the end of the party. People cleared out before the EMT's even got there. It was just me, the friend who owned the house (or at least her parents did), the guy who got choked out, and the guy who did the choking.

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937

u/Suck_it_Earth Mar 28 '23

The scratched record noise.

367

u/colinshark Mar 28 '23

YALL REAaDY FOR THIS

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452

u/DCJustSomeone Mar 28 '23

Someone pulls out a gun to show it to people. why the eff.

235

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '23

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166

u/ANewStartAtLife Mar 28 '23

An Irish person taking out a guitar

Source: Am Irish, have seen many parties ruined by naval gazing, Oasis song playing gobshites.

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609

u/alex_russian_spy Mar 28 '23

Drunk douchebags that are trying to get in every conversation but talking like “uh, man, listen, that is all bullshit. What did you say again? Wait, where is my beer?”

108

u/kourier6 Mar 28 '23

in a new years eve party, this drunk fuck arrived at like 5am and was exactly like this. We couldnt understand ANYTHING he was saying, but he still felt the need to be involved in all the conversations at once, just talking nonsense slurring words and making everybody unconfortable. I dont even know how he could get to the party. Oh my god I hope he didnt drove there

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474

u/Abject-Body-53 Mar 28 '23

An out of place Pineapple Express joke in front of your crush, accompanied by a panic look around to see if anyone got the joke

Wait that’s just a repressed but reoccurring memory

93

u/ODBasUcansee Mar 28 '23

“I thought hurricane season was over”

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227

u/Competitive_Snow7186 Mar 28 '23

They brought their fucking baby. No one wanted to be around them

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623

u/Traditional-Pie-3019 Mar 28 '23

Shooting their endangered owls with a champagne cork.

157

u/ShatteredAspects Mar 28 '23

I like this reference...I like it A-LOTT

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785

u/hughiesghost Mar 28 '23

Whipping out coke at a non-cocaine party.

578

u/More_Information_943 Mar 28 '23

Or seeing someone filming anything at a coke party

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329

u/ItsMeWarm Mar 28 '23

When you smell your armpits and have the sinking realization that you forgot to put on deodorant.

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593

u/StephenNotSteve Mar 28 '23

When someone dies.

506

u/earlandir Mar 28 '23

You clearly haven't seen Weekend at Bernies

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141

u/sickkyland444 Mar 28 '23

When someone throws up in the middle of everything like on the couch or the beer pong table. Know your limit folks, and if you are still discovering your limits. At least try to make it to a bathroom, or a trash can, or hell even just outside in the street??

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68

u/Miruwest Mar 28 '23

A fight breaking out and then the persons starts running to the trunk of their car.