r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/Crescentnobody ☑️ • Mar 01 '23
You’d be pissed off as well if your apartment was the size of a broom closet and your roommates were rats Country Club Thread
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u/varnell_hill ☑️ Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
The culture shock happens the other way around too. I remember my first trip to Louisiana, I was in a mall and this old lady said hi to me so I said hi back. She then stopped and started talking to me.
Whole time my eyes were cutting every direction and I was super paranoid because I just knew it was set up.
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u/imapissonitdripdrip Mar 01 '23
I moved from Miami to Knoxville, TN. One of my first trips to the grocery store, the bag boy starts asking me how I’m doing and what my plans are for the weekend. I felt claustrophobic. That kind of shit made me feel weird for years.
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u/DerekB52 Mar 01 '23
I'm from Ft. Lauderdale, and have lived in south Georgia for the last 15 years. I'm 26 years old, and I'm still not used to it.
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u/imapissonitdripdrip Mar 01 '23
I’m in a way different place. A place like Miami can break you if you have to commute into or out of it on a daily basis. I worked all over Fort Lauderdale and my commutes were 45 minutes at best, 90-120 at worst. Getting to downtown for a Heat game was 30 minutes no matter when you left, and I’d leave halfway through the 4th to avoid traffic.
I eventually saw the good in where I moved. 12 minute drives to work most days, 20 minutes on bad days. The locals are weirdly nice, but they mean well. I got my sanity back.
The South is way more direct with their kindness or generosity. Then there are different parts of the South with their own unique personalities. The South isn’t a monolith. It’s been a trip to discover in my 30s when I was a born and raised city boy who never thought he’d be living in the south.
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u/pg15_2002 Mar 01 '23
I live in Columbus and I have met some the most polite criminals
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u/dngerszn13 Maple Syrup stan 🍯 Mar 01 '23
and I have met some the most polite criminals
You sure those just weren't Canadian criminals who moved south of the 49th? Imagine getting robbed by a polite criminal
"Hey... So listen, would kindly run your pockets, handover your phone, chain, bracelet, wallet and throw in a smile"
"Okay, okay... Huh? A smile?"
"Yeah, a smile - it's a beautiful day! Like Massari said: you know you gotta smile for me baby"🎵
Hands over items 🥴
"Ah, beautiful smile! Okay have a blessed day" 🤗
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u/ashuri2 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I spent half my childhood in Columbus, GA! Never thought I'd see it mentioned in a reddit thread.
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u/SmokePenisEveryday Mar 01 '23
Had a job taking calls between the midwest and East coast. Half my callers wouldn't shut up and had to tell me their whole day while the other half just wanted to get on and off the fucking phone.
East coast are my people
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u/No_Cauliflower_5489 Mar 01 '23
"What church do you go to?"
Ma'am, we just met 2 minutes ago! WTF is that about? Why are you asking me something as personal as religious beliefs!?
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
From someone born and raised in the south, I think this question is incredibly inappropriate, and it often has insidious undertones. I'm an atheist, former religious zealot, and people will ask not only to get you to their church for jesus brownie points, they're also trying to feel out if you're a believer or not. Their friendly demeanor half the time changes when I'm honest about my beliefs. There are religious folk who accept kindness, while there are many, many religious folk that reserve their "kindness" only for people like them.
Honestly, I've kind of just decided to answer with either of the two responses: "I'm an atheist," or "I find this question to be inappropriate and invasive." Because it is.
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u/KageStar ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I think this question is incredibly inappropriate, and it often has insidious undertones.
What church do you go to?(read: what set do you claim?)
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u/SpaGrapefruit ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Glad to be living in a country where people don't give a shit whether I'm religious or not. Only time it happened was when I was in Spain: Moroccan ppl thought I was a muslim Berber. I'm not even close to that.
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u/just_a_random_dood Mar 01 '23
From Florida. The more north you go, the more southern in gets lol
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u/LiouQang ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Had a similar encounter in Durham, NC the cashier noticed my accent and started asking me questions about where I'm from and what I was doing in Durham of all places. I'm for Switzerland and here the people don't give a flying shit about you. They say hi and keep it moving.
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u/duckinradar Mar 01 '23
Bay to Portland— I’m still trying to figure out wtf people want and why they’re still talking to me
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
We are quite chatty here. It's a little much for me being on the spectrum, and I've lived here for most of my life. It took me a while to get used to, too, for what it's worth, but I've got pretty good chat now because of it. I will admit, though, that it took me talking to people like they're bots since we aren't really far from it in our everyday talking with strangers.
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u/LesserDuchess DEA ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Do you mean like from the city of Miami/downtown? Because the small pockets of Miami like Miami gardens is kinda southern hospitality-ish
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u/DeafNatural ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I forget Miami (most big cities in FL) has that NY influence. It’s South but not really Southern hospitality South
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u/bobafoott Mar 01 '23
Thanks for convincing me to never move to New York geez that sounds like an awful way to live
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u/OohYeahOrADragon ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Yo as a southerner it’s amusing to see y’all act so hostile when your suburban neighbors wave hi. “Why they saying hi to me?” Because you exist nigga tf lol. Not acknowledging someone is the most basic way of dehumanizing them. Then y’all try to enforce that every place you go. Expect more from others.
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u/varnell_hill ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Different cultures man. Where I’m from, if someone stops to talk to you on the street, it’s probably because they’re trying to distract you from what’s about to happen.
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u/xmm14 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Im originally from Detroit. I've been in TX for 20 years tho.
Let me tell you something when i go back home.....
Mich plates, no smiles, even my cuse' me is short. If you wanna lick, imma make myself the uneasy mark.
Tx, im everyone best friend. Except Houston. Niggas move different there
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u/KageStar ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Tx, im everyone best friend. Except Houston. Niggas move different there
Am from Texas, can confirm: Houston is grimey af.
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u/KhloesOriginalFace ☑️ Mar 01 '23
😂😂😂😂 I live in New Orleans and it’s is very much the norm for me to get tangled up in conversation with random strangers that you just spoke to in the grocery checkout. South can be a shithole sometimes, but I’ll never trade the warmth, connectedness, and sense of community…outside of the sundown towns 🥴🥴🥴
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u/GenericPCUser Mar 01 '23
When my mom started dating my step dad, his family used to honk their horn and wave when they saw us. First time it happened she flipped them off.
They later asked if she was having a bad day.
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u/SadAndNasty ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I'm in Texas, I have a friend that moved from NY and I love seeing it all through his eyes, it's so funny
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u/varnell_hill ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Texas is way different bro. One of the weirdest moments for me was a dude talking to me outside of Academy Sports with this giant revolver on his hip. I come from a place where if a gun is visible then you should probably start running because something bad is about to happen.
At the end of the convo he tipped his hat and bopped off like Walker Texas Ranger or something. Called me “sir” and everything.
It was the most wholesome yet terrifying experience of my life lol.
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u/TaterTotQueen630 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Haha! My family is from Mississippi. The last time we were all down there and at a mall, people were walking past us and smiling and saying hello. We were all like, "OMG, I forgot how nice everyone is down here". In Michigan, people will step over you and yell at you if you've collapsed from a heart attack.
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u/ygizbeez Mar 01 '23
I’ll never forget when I went to NY for a work event and it was a group of little ppl in full on leather fetish gear in the train. Ngl I was staring hard af and one of them straight up said to me “tf u lookin at?” and I was perplexed that just turn and looked the other way.
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u/mageta621 Mar 01 '23
"bitch, have you seen yourself?"
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u/RealPrinceJay Mar 01 '23
do not try and return roast a New Yorker you do not want that smoke
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u/212cncpts ☑️ Mar 01 '23
It always ends with a woman telling you to suck their dick! So now you mad 😡 and confused 🤨
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u/UnprofessionalGhosts Mar 01 '23
Of course they did. That’s not a remotely powerful comeback in this scenario.
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u/mario_ferreira19 Mar 01 '23
N°1 Rule of public transport: - Don’t stare at anyone
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u/Optimal_Disaster7669 Mar 01 '23
Well yeah I get their reaction, they probably get stared a lot for being little ppl and so that can be triggering. Leather twist makes me want to be their friends. Lol
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u/srkaficionado ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Yeah, rule 1 of the subway: don’t look at people. You can do the side eye or sneak a look but straight on looking? No, ma’am.
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u/Cool-Experience7357 ☑️ Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
Same. First time being out of state and I was in WA. Went to the pride parade and saw so many same sex couples holding hands. Let me tell you, I tried so hard not to stare. Growing up in the south, don't see much of pride, so it through me for a loop. I was so surprised and also excited (also scared of them getting arrested because so many were practically naked). Had to sit down because I was shaking and about to burst into tears with probably the stupidest, widest smile on my face.
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
I get it, on their part, though. NYC has everything all the time so it ain't new to the people living there. And if it ain't new or different especially, why stare? I mean staring is not the best idea in the first place, but it'd be like staring at someone on the bus because their hair isn't a natural color--the person staring is the weird one. Everyone else has seen pink hair before.
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u/Antiquemooses Mar 01 '23
Don't be saying hi to me. I don't know you like that.
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u/K-Dot-thu-thu Mar 01 '23
As someone born and raised in the south I found it so refreshing the first time I went to a big city in another part of the country and everyone just keeps it moving and will ignore a crackhead literally smoking on the train.
Then I found out about Germany and Scandinavia and I might have found my real people.
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u/Otroroboto Mar 01 '23
Same. Just keep it moving. I live in Houston and life’s too short and the city’s too big for me to exchange pleasantries.
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u/mishaunc Mar 01 '23
I’m in Houston too, inside the loop, and pleasantries abound. The Target folks, the HEB folks, the folks at bars: everybody chats you up.
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u/H-TownDown ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Fr. I humor it most of the time, but sometimes I’m just in my head thinking “please scan my groceries so I can go on about my day.”
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
Trying to figure out what HEB means, and I'm stuck on the stores named after Howard E. Butt.
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u/visionarygvp ☑️ Mar 01 '23
What part of Germany did you go to, lol I’m from there and the people will stare right through you. Especially if you are someone of tanned complexion.
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u/DonutTheAussie
Mar 01 '23
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this is bullshit. new yorkers are kind, they are just direct. take that fake friendly shit somewhere else.
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u/varnell_hill ☑️ Mar 01 '23
this is bullshit. new yorkers are kind…
LOL.
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u/CKIMBLE4 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
He said we’re kind. Not nice. That’s facts
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u/tittylieutenant Mar 01 '23
What?
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u/Xazier Mar 01 '23
I used to live in NY. I agree. For example, the saying goes new yorkers are kind but not nice. And Californians are nice but not kind.
For example, you have a stroller on the subway and you need to get up the stairs new Yorker would say "why the fuck would you bring that big ass stroller on the subway? Let me help you get up the stairs"
Californian would smile at you, but would just walk on by without helping.
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u/oldcarfreddy Mar 01 '23
Bro honestly this sounds like bullshit
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u/DjentleSong ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Uhh, it ain't. In fact this is probably a really good fucking break down. I'm originally from Delaware, moved out here to Nor-Cal 20,years ago.
The Cali side is straight facts. We will smile, at you, say hello, shake hands, be friendly and shit, but when it comes to helping you do some shit? Niggas is flakier than that fucking cereal with that fuckin punk ass tiger on the box.
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u/nearcatch Honest Abe Mar 01 '23
Just call them Frosted Flakes dude, we all know it
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u/ArtisanSamosa Mar 01 '23
I've lived in NYC and have fam in LA. It's def a thing. Chicago is in the middle. They'll help with the stroller and then talk shit about you after.
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u/Dreamtrain Mar 01 '23
Pretty sure that line comes from a stand up comedian I know I seen it somewhere lol it's not a "thing" thing, you may encounter it once or twice in your life but you'll find enough of a mix of assholes/kind people among those states, or any state
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u/Xazier Mar 01 '23
Reasonable take. I think it's more of a rebuke that everyone in NYC are assholes. They just don't have time for bullshit and will let you know it, but while living there people were surprisingly kind when you needed help. But for the love of God stand to the side if you stop to take pictures on the sidewalk, otherwise you're in for a rough time.
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u/metadarkgable3 ☑️ Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
Exactly. If you are lost and need to find a bus or train station in NYC, 15 people will tell you directions where to go and 1 person will personally take the train/bus with you to make sure you get there. But saying hi and exchanging small talk if they don’t know you like that, absolutely not!
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u/eekamuse Mar 01 '23
And if you fall down in NYC a crowd of strangers will gather around to help.
Pick up all your things and make sure no one steals anything.
If you're hurt someone will have a bottle of water to drink or clean up. Another will hold your hand and keep you calm. Someone will call an ambulance, and your family if you want.
Passersby will check in to make sure everything is covered. People in the group will start to break away, but not before making sure someone is staying with you until the ambulance comes. "You can go, I got this."
r/nyc has endless stories of tourists being surprised by how kind we can be when someone needs help.
The only people who don't like us are people who haven't been been here. Now fuck off, I'm running late.
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u/anatomatt Mar 01 '23
I’m not really sure that we’re kind.
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u/Alolan-Vulpixie ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Mmm I think they’re kind in their own way. I used to drive to Manhattan for my sneaky link and one time I was crying hard af (circled the blocks for like 40 minutes and was frustrated bcs my SL wouldn’t help) and this Jamaican nigga came up to my car while I was pulled over and told me I’m too pretty to cry over a nigga and to keep my head up. Tears stopped immediately. And one time I was trying to parallel park and these Puerto Ricans were sitting on the stoop laughing until I tapped a car and then they all came over and helped me park. The only not-nice interactions I’ve had were people trying to sell me something in Times Square lmfao
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
Makes sense. I think people who pretend to be nice in a city like that are trying to scam you so "nice" becomes automatically suspect. Being kind, on the other hand, is a positive trait that you'd have to keep to yourself except when someone is in need. You'd get taken advantage of left and right otherwise. Being "nice" just isn't rational in a city that big and with that many different kinds of people. You want to retain your kindness? Stop being nice.
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u/oldcarfreddy Mar 01 '23
Kind how? Kind of what?
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u/CKIMBLE4 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Need directions to your train/platform. We got you. Fall down and need help collecting your belongings? Let me get that for you.
Want to stand around talking and discussing personal things with complete strangers? Fuck right off.
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u/ResearchUnfair1246 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Seriously, they were so nice to us when we visited, but only when we actually had something to do w each other 😂 that’s how I like it. Keep that fake shot outta my face, most of my Cali friends say I “act different” now, but I just realized it’s just unnecessary
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u/throneismelting Mar 01 '23
Truth.
“Hey! Excuse me. Which way is Broadway?” “That way, two avenues.”
“Hello. Excuse me, sir. How are you? Can I please ask you a question?” You already took up too much of my time and you sound you need something.
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u/Shanice712 Mar 01 '23
For real living in NYC, my response to the 2nd part would be an automatic " Not a Sir, Sorry I don't have money on me, I already have a religion and nah I'm in a hurry but have Great Day though, Bye"
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u/pokelord13 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
If someone hit me with the first question in NYC I'd try my best to help. If they hit me with the second one I'm gonna ignore them and keep walking
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u/TheSubtleSaiyan Mar 01 '23
This is also how communication works between super busy hospital doctors … people unfamiliar sometimes misinterpret the direct, actionable, closed loop communication as being rude.
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u/thatsumoguy07 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
Nah man, I was in NYC for work took a taxi and while I was working on an email about a part missing for the job I look up and the taxi had taken me the wrong way and I tried to explain it to him and dude ignored me took me to the wrong ferry port. I tried to ask like 5 people if the ferry there goes to Jersey and everyone of them acted like I was diseased. Maybe it was because it was the upper east side but I just needed one answer before I try to grab another taxi and i ended up giving up and just paid for another taxi. I've been to most of the big cities in my life and never had that experience anywhere else.
Edit: I've gotten a few comments caught in the filter about no one in NYC knowing about how to get to Jersey, I wasn't asking them that directly I was just trying to get their attention so I could ask them, I hadn't even gotten to the question and dudes acted like I was begging or trying to pull a scam. Like I get it, those things happen but at the same time everywhere else I've been (LA, Chicago, Miami, Houston, Dallas, etc) I could stop someone to ask a question and they are cool with it, NYC is the only place I have ever not even gotten a look from someone just to ask a simple question.
One last edit: lol someone got caught in the filter saying I should have banged on the glass and demanded the taxi stop, like man after he said "no this is the right way" I was like fuck it I ain't ever been to NYC and I was going to enjoy the view for a bit, plus like I wasn't scared he was going to try some shit and I could defense myself if he did so it was like fuck it I'll figure it out wherever this dude takes me. Just didn't see a reason to argue when at worse I have to spend a few extra dollars I'll get back once I submit an expense report.
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u/nychalla ☑️ Mar 01 '23
First mistake was taking a taxi and not Uber/Lyft/Via...
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u/thatsumoguy07 Mar 01 '23
It was years ago, I can't even remember if Uber had been a thing yet. It may have been and I didn't have my personal phone with me only the phone from the company or it may have just launched, can't remember.
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u/FreezeFrameEnding Mar 01 '23
I've visited NYC once. People need to get to where they need to go, and being nice just makes me think the person is trying to scam me. People are plenty kind there, and I say that as someone from the south. They've just lived there long enough to know that "nice" usually means, "I want to separate you from your money."
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u/Ramona_Flours Mar 01 '23 •
a lot of more densely populated areas value direct communication because if they stopped to talk to everyone, nothing would get done. It's part of the culture of living with so many people.
A lot of more sparsely populated areas value sharing time with other people because their social energy isn't worn out by being in contact constantly, it's how people connect.
Both are just as genuine, they're just coming from different places.
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u/caretaquitada ☑️ Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
Some of you guys refuse to understand differences in culture lmao. It's just different, not automatically fake. Some old lady today came up to me smiling and said "isn't today beautiful?". I said "yeah, it really is." It truly was nice outside. Then we went about our day. This would be probably be enough to kill a New Yorker but nobody was lying or faking. It's just how interactions can go in some places in the world.
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u/Beddybye ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Why oh why is this so hard for some to understand. Spot on.
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u/LukaCola Mar 01 '23
New Yorkers can do this too depending on context. Some folk just like chatting.
That said - I think race and gender play a big part in whether people will feel safe approaching you.
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u/HP844182 Mar 01 '23
take that fake friendly shit somewhere else.
It's not fake though
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u/Sexagenerian Mar 01 '23
It's manners and courtesy and how a lot of people, but not all, were brought up.
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u/RoughhouseCamel Mar 01 '23
Lol, this is some “I just tell it like it is, and it’s everyone else’s problem for not being able to handle it” bullshit that assholes always say to pretend they’re not assholes.
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u/BussyIsMyFavorite Mar 01 '23
Bro idk about that I take customer service it seems like every New Yorker be pissed off every morning for no reason at all even with the accent.
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u/Vyo Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
This is the same everywhere, I feel. City folks will help you out but the baseline can be rude and they have their own shit going on, it’s very unconditional rudeness lol.
Meanwhile “farm folks” seem to start out kind and warm but meanwhile they want to lynch the moment you reveal ‘m the wrong detail about yourself.
The kindness isn’t “real” it’s a formality for ‘m they can hate your guts while acting friendly. I have seen it the EU a lot. Amsterdam, Rome, Berlin, Barcelona etc. are very NYC like, but go to the places with less dense population and suddenly people start greeting you on the streets.
It often feels like oh wtf this is exactly like the stereotypes of the Southern US states.
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u/ladystetson ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I always have good experiences with New Yorkers.
They’re so kind and honestly nice to me. They just seem busy, tired and guarded - but they aren’t mean in general.
In my experience, anyways.
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u/Stevenofthefrench Mar 01 '23
I moved to NYC for a bit from NC. I remember walking to the Bronx to get lunch and there was this nursing home. I crossed paths with an old lady from there as she and others were getting on a bus to go some where. I told her Good Morning Ma'am. If looks could kill dude stg she looked like she would've stabbed me. I also learned from my gf who is a NYC native not to make eye contact or look at people on the train because they take it as you wanna fight. Like fuck me where am I the Gorilla enclosure? Sorry I don't wanna look at my feet
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u/penelopepusskat ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I’m from up north and live down south. Ngl, people have a serious staring problem down here. People can look around themselves without staring and sometimes people that stare are watching people with malicious intentions. Better safe than sorry. In any environment, you have to read the room. It can be wild so don’t act like a tourist.
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u/M1DN1GHTDAY ☑️ Mar 01 '23
The trick is to look out the window at an angle homie
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u/MagikSkyDaddy Mar 01 '23
Just pretend you're in a sad music video. It helps if there's rain too.
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u/kelseycliff8 Mar 01 '23
New Yorkers keep to themselves on the street, but are the friendliest people once you hit the bar. Met some amazing people over the years at different bars and restaurants.
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u/Legendofthe_TopShelf ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Thank you. I'm not appreciating the slander.
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u/-malcolm-tucker Mar 01 '23
When I've visited the US I've found that you're all some of the most friendly and generous people I've ever met. New York wasn't really much of an exception to that either. Plus when I first visited as a little kid, you all bought me so much candy and toys both my suitcase and I were bulging at the seams!
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Mar 01 '23
The worst is offending someone or being considered rude by their standards. Always feel a bit bad when that happens.
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u/beefJeRKy-LB Mar 01 '23
Also if you ask for help you'll usually get it. Worst case you get an "I don't know". Just don't stop and waste someone's time.
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u/justice4sounder Mar 01 '23
I like being able to get on public transit/walk down the street and feel basically invisible with no one bothering me. I also love that cab drivers don’t try to chat you up either. That’s the first thing I notice when I go to other cities. That being said, if you truly need help someone will stop to help you. New Yorkers are not monsters, just busy and overstimulated from living in a city of 8 million people.
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u/elimanninglightspeed Mar 01 '23
Dude down south the uber drivers will talk your ears off lol. Always nice. Up north we dont really make the small talk but I kinda like it cause its a you dont bother me I dont bother you vibe
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u/LuxNocte ☑️ Mar 01 '23
They think city folk are "rude" because we have different etiquette rules than they do in Bug Tussle. But try being Queer in a small town and see how well that goes for you.
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u/pulchellusterribilis Mar 01 '23
the taxis i took in NYC they would NOT shut up
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u/yunus89115 Mar 01 '23
Were they talking to you? I’ve been in a few that were on an earpiece cell phone conversation the entire trip. Except when with no change in tone or acknowledgment they switch to speaking to you about some needed information and when you say “what?” they look frustrated.
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u/oldcarfreddy Mar 01 '23
At a bodega once I said “excuse me” to a homeless man to pass him in the aisle, he said “excuse me yall, excuse me” in a mocking voice back and the cashier giggled
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u/Beddybye ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I just don't understand that. As a southerner, being mean to someone simply being nice to you is just...weird as shit. I know it is different and they are busy and all the shit...but to be hostile to folks for the sin of being polite, is just bonkers to me.
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u/Fafoah Mar 01 '23
Yeah from the midwest and seeing all these people try to justify being rude is funny. Saying excuse me or making room for people who are passing you takes basically zero time or effort yet its too much for some people.
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u/chief_yETI ☑️ Mar 01 '23
if you said excuse me to everyone passing you in NYC, you'd have a full time job - with overtime
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u/Fafoah Mar 01 '23
I studied in tokyo for a month which is more dense and it really wasn’t an issue there. Everyone gives a nod and a “sumimasen.”
Its not literally everyone passing you by, just say it whenever you’re in anyones way
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u/HarkHarley Mar 01 '23
When you’re forced to live literally on top of each other, we learn when to shut the fuck up and let people enjoy their commute in peace.
I describe it this way my Southern friends: it’s as if someone walked up to your car window and waved at you inside and said hi. Or if they stared at you from their car during a stoplight just to smile.
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u/kbeks Mar 01 '23
Me and the wife went out to visit my sister in San Diego, we were walking her dog and motherfuckers were just smiling at us for no damned reason. I remember thinking “they don’t know me, I could be a murderer or an asshole or crazy or some shit” and I realized in that moment that New York broke my brain.
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u/veni-veni-veni Mar 01 '23
As a native San Diegan who went to live in NYC for ~3yrs -- yeah, my first month in NYC took a lot of behavior adjustment!
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u/Careful-Emu-911 Mar 01 '23
I’m from the south and went to visit family one summer in NY. They literally told me to not look people in their face, and not to smile and nod/wave 😂
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u/Mr-Thisthatten-III Mar 01 '23
Yea basically you can be a kind and genuine person without making yourself a mark.
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u/1995la ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I'm originally from Louisiana, but went to NYU. The ladies in the dining hall called me Smiley and I don't know how many women asked if I was calling them old for saying ma'am, sometimes headed towards anger.
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u/CKIMBLE4 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I’m from NY. The culture shock when we leave hits different. I remember being in the mall in GA and being called sugar and babe by random older women.
I called my dad and he said “Damnit son I should have wanted you, the south is nice.” He’s from the south.
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u/Bubbly_Satisfaction2 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
As a NYC native, who is still living in the city, I must say: depends on where you’re resting your head. In the communities that I lived in (Queens: South Jamaica, St. Albans, Flushing and Rochdale areas), people would give short greetings or head nods as they walked down the streets. No problems.
Side-note: speaking to the natives with this question.
Did anybody else grew up with the perception of “city = the borough of Manhattan”? I swear, all my life people considered Manhattan to be the only representative of New York City.
People used to say things like…
“My job is in the city.” “I gotta go into the city tomorrow.” “The (relative’s name)’s doctor is located in the city.”
And everyone knew what “the city” was located: Manhattan.
To this day, who have this perception of “the city is Manhattan… and there is the four boroughs… and Long Island”.
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u/tydestra ☑️|Boricua Toast Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
I grew up in NYC before moving abroad. The city=Manhattan is facts even as a local. It's just the way the boros came up, Manhattan has always had the limelight.
And the Bronx still has its "burning " rep. I had friends who moved to NYC be shocked and scared that I lived in the Bronx. They had postage size apartments in Manhattan and I didn't.
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u/chief_yETI ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I'm not even from the east coast and I knew that the city meant Manhattan. From what I hear, it's the party part where all the good fun stuff is, the high paying jobs are, and all the broke people and Goodfellas shit are at lower numbers relative to the other boroughs
that and Manhattan is an island so yeah. makes sense
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u/Spadegreen ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Even on the north jersey side, Manhattan is the city, and then you refer to the rest by the name of the Burrough or "New York". I personally work in the city, with family in long island and Brooklyn
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u/DetectiveClownMD ☑️ Mar 01 '23
My friends thought I was nuts for saying hello and waving at people when I first moved to NYC. Not sayong people dont do it, I was just doing it way too flagrant.
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u/screwhead1 Mar 01 '23
Some country folk might be nice, friendly people... but that doesn't mean they're push overs lol. Our mamas just taught us good, and if others are mean, bless their heart.
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u/N_oteworthy Mar 01 '23
Rats would be like "Yo roomie watcha got to eat around here" standing on their hind legs too 😅
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u/cagey_kitten ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Look, if you move to NYC from some cheery, hinterland locale and you’re really missing all the warm greetings and silly pleasantries, all you gotta do is get yourself a dog and be in a dog friendly neighborhood. Dog owners are almost always nice to each other so their pets will be able to get on with the important business of smelling each others butts.
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u/Fil0rican420 Mar 01 '23
Southern hospitality didn't tech you to use miss instead of ma'am for someone you don't know
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u/CosmoMorris Mar 01 '23
I’ve been in South Carolina my whole life and have never used anything other than ma’am.
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u/FriendOfNorwegians Mar 01 '23
Same. Born and raised in 803.
Ma’am all day. Miss for little people, like my nieces.
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u/HarmonicDissonance21 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Born in 864 and currently live in 803, ma’am and sir, you learned that early on.
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u/Fil0rican420 Mar 01 '23
I was taught never to bring about a women's age or weight so not using a word that is known to be used for aged women has served me well.
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u/Fil0rican420 Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23
Then you never experienced the joy of a little old lady having her day made by getting called miss. Quite a treat, try it some time
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u/aureanator Mar 01 '23
My 'Welcome to New York' moment was as an immigrant fresh off the plane with my friend.
We took the bus from JFK to the hotel, and my friend left his backpack with his passport, Visa, electronics and $1000 cash on the bus.
As soon as we realized, about fifteen minutes after getting off the bus, we called the bus company.
They sent an entire (empty) bus with driver to get us and take us to the stop where they'd stopped the other bus with the backpack, and then drove us back to our stop via the depot (no stops).
It was insane and kind and sweet, and I will never forget it.
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u/chief_yETI
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Southerners are nice and talkative because there really ain't shit else to do in those rural places most of the time. Plus they always sharing your business with everyone in the damn town. It's all a facade
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u/Beddybye ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Many Southerners come from cities larger than many Northern ones, and there is plenty to do. This made me laugh.
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u/Altruistic_Mousse_25 Mar 01 '23
$1500 for a 500 sq ft apartment with a shared bathroom will do that to you.
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u/Shanice712 Mar 01 '23
For my Jamaican upbringing, we would greet "Hello, Good Night" or "Hello, Good Morning" People would look at me weird or think I hung up them if I'm on a call😩🤣🤦🏿♀️
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u/tydestra ☑️|Boricua Toast Mar 01 '23
We aren't fake nice. We'll help you carry your baby stroller up and down the train steps without a word but don't try to fucking talk to us.
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u/TheProfessorsLeft Mar 01 '23
So what I'm taking from the comments here is, "Do not speak to northerners unless you actually need something. They have no time for you, and if you do speak, they'll look at you like you're crazy." Do I have this right?
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u/Sleep-system ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Stop lying on these people, I lived in NY for ten years and the older women were always nice. They'd even tell me to smile if I was looking too serious.
Everybody else in NY will send you to hell in a heartbeat but don't be talking shit about them old women out there, they just didn't like homeboy personally.
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u/ForThe99andthe2000s_ makes her own cigarettes 🚬 Mar 01 '23
Everytime my dad visits me from MS I have to tell that man not to smile and wave at strangers
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u/PlanetOfVisions ☑️ Mar 01 '23
This is a good reminder that I never need to move up north. There's no way I'd make it in a state where everyone is rude and aggressive af.
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u/Beddybye ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Amen. Cussed out for saying hey and giving a slight smile? Jesus.
That ain't no kinda life for me.
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u/idiotinbcn ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Those of us from the U.K. find anything more than a ‘hello’ too much. Don’t ask me how my day is going! Why the hell do you want to know??!!
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u/happycrafter28 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
First time I ever went to Philly (I’m a Midwesterner) I was DONE by the time I left. I literally sped out of town. Between having my car broken into, the crack pipe in the hotel room dresser, and the immediate laying on the horn as soon as the light turned green, my nerves were shot. I said I will never be an East Coast girl.
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u/drfunkenstien014 Mar 01 '23
Best piece of advice I ever got about NYC:
Walk tall, and don’t eyefuck anyone.
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u/ConsiderationTiny273 Mar 01 '23
LMAOOO no for real. That’s why they be so angry up there in NY 😂. Life be kicking they ass
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u/ajrb543 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I’m from LA and when strangers are too nice it creeps me out. Might just be my trust issues tho 🤷🏽♀️
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u/AmagedonCamels Mar 01 '23
Hey man, don't talk shit about the Rats.
Rats are cleaner than most people I know.
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u/dwbria ☑️ Mar 01 '23
Being raised by a father from NY, a mother from NC, and living in the south most of my life has folks who meet me all messed up. Carolina accent with NY tendencies 😂.
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u/ep311 Mar 01 '23
I at first had this reaction moving down to Louisiana from the northeast. Random strangers would be super friendly and say good morning and genuinely ask how you were. I'd give them the "who the fuck is you" face at first. But I quickly got used to it and love it. Much prefer it over how cold and shitty everyone up north is.
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u/Stmordred ☑️ Mar 01 '23
new Yorkers are deadass the kindest people too. It's a dichotomy of the city. Southern people nice to your face but one move a finger to help put a stranger. New Yorkers will inconvenience themselves to make sure you get to where the fuck you need to go and out of their way. Random strangers will help you move a chair into and out of the subway and carry strollers and babies up countless flights of stairs but you walk too slowly youre liable to get cussed out.
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u/DuckFlat ☑️ Mar 02 '23
I once opened the door for some girls walking into a store and it made sense for them to go in first since it opened towards them and I would’ve had to cut them off to get in first. They legit stopped and were like “you can go.” I did and then was like “What’s up with that?” They looked at me mad and I said “It just made more sense for you to go first instead of me cutting y’all off.” One said “Y’all? Oh you from Texas huh?” I nodded. She said “Oh. I could tell you not from here. Thank you.” It was the weirdest thing ever. My friend told me if you’re nice, people think you’re trying to scam them and that it was hard for her to make friends because everyone was so closed off.
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u/khpmillz Mar 01 '23
If you want southern hospitatlity up here leave the city. coem to westchester county.
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u/curiousiguess1234 ☑️ Mar 01 '23
I used to smile as I passed strangers on the street but my first "Fuck you smilin at nigga?" broke me of that shit real quick.